Jim Hammer Lawyer – We get it. Making a list of the funniest and funniest local commercials is exactly what advertisers want us to do, sharing their pieces of digital celluloid for more people to see. In this day and age where videos of cat magic, skateboarding accidents and accidental crashes…
Brian Wilson, aka The Texas Law Hawk, sets fire to a snow sculpture for justice or something. Screenshot by Danny Gallagher
Jim Hammer Lawyer
We get it. Making a list of the funniest local commercials is exactly what advertisers want us to do, sharing their digital pieces of celluloid for more people to see. In this day and age, when videos of cat magic, skateboard mishaps and random My Yellow Man stunts dominate our feeds, local commercial filmmakers are keen to go viral.
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We do not care. We still want to celebrate the gems that still make us laugh, on purpose or not.
There is only one place to start when it comes to local marketing. Ads for the personal injury law firm Jim Adler & Associates are stuck in the head of any Dallas resident with a television or Internet connection. Adler appears in each ad with his signature sledgehammer in a holster because, of course, he’s a “Texas Hammer.” Duh And to his credit, the ads work because they always go viral and once earned the perfect “And Now…” segment on John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight.
Adler speaks with the confidence of a coked-up high school quarterback before taking the field; His personal iambic pentameter requires him to emphasize the word “weapon”, regardless of context. Virtually all of her commercials feature her—and sometimes her son and law partner Bill Adler—screaming at the top of their lungs at a semi-truck running her down or even being in her presence. We don’t know what the truck did to him when he was a kid, and frankly, we’ll never know.
Adler has a competitive opponent who is so thirsty for justice that he has to get it out of his system or he will explode like a speeding bus. Fort Worth criminal defense attorney Brian Wilson calls himself “The Texas Law Hawk” and plays his commercials like a PG version of the movie Alex had to see himself in A Clockwork Orange free of his murderous tendencies.
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A DFW fixture, Wilson has even gained international fame thanks to a BBC News story calling him “America’s tallest lawyer” and appearing in a Taco Bell commercial that ran during the Super Bowl. His advertisements are not just promises that his customers will get… In fact, it is not at all clear what or how he will do it. Unless, of course, part of the American legal system involves every opening and closing statement like a professional wrestler and taking a flamethrower to an ice sculpture. Wilson calls himself a “hawk,” but by cracking one, is he saying he’ll fight other legal hawks, or is he expressing some kind of repressed self-loathing at the guidance of his spirit of justice? Either way, it’s the funniest cry for help we’ve ever seen.
The late 1980s featured a strange Dallas partnership, since the Texas Rangers teamed up with death by selling fans a literal stack of nachos. The allure of a car salesman and wearer of oversized trendy sunglasses somehow managed to get WWF superstar wrestler The Ultimate Warrior to appear in a series of quirky commercials for his Westway Ford dealership.
The commercials show the couple experimenting with hypnosis, pulling a prison break and encouraging customers to buy cars that have been suddenly seen in a slow-motion attack. It will make perfect sense if you see it through to the end (sort of). We will not be held responsible if your shoulder falls under a major exposure.
Watching a local commercial to capture the magic of a hit movie is like watching your dad dance to his favorite song when you were a kid. You can’t tell if you want to put it on hold or read it closely, so you keep the memory forever.
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A local insurance agency tries to recreate The Three Amigos, W.estern comedy stars Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short, including their bemused sombrero flute trio (wait for it) The Young Amigos. Instead of using their showmanship talents to save a small town from a crazed Mexican bandit, these amigos use their knowledge of economic border trends and maximum gross premiums (0.2 percent, by the way). like dogs Yes, it doesn’t stick the landing well, but the effort is fun.
Every major advertising market in the country has at least one car dealership, house of worship, notary public, gun shop, or actuarial firm that tried to “rap” the heyday of hip-hop in the 80s. Can do for your customers.
Dallas had their own as Trophy Nissan rapped about their car dealership in a way that would make Jack Paul question the musical motives that spawned their now famous crowd-pleasing jingle. There’s no need to explain it, because anyone who’s been to karaoke night on a weekday has already seen some of this. Some drunk guy in a suit gets up and grabs the mic because the 12 whiskey pigs inside him tell him he can take on Eminem’s “Rape God” if he pays enough attention and takes his eyes off the double. Reduce to single. It’s basic, but the beat is waaaaaay slower and all the lyrics are about cars and low prices.
Pet sitting is a trend as old as television – and it never gets old. Whether it’s filler for a local newscast or a hallucination brought on by lack of sleep, the intrepid water-skiing squirrel is still so entertaining.
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Dallas Dodge used this iconic strategy in one of its recent ads. They found a bulldog that can skateboard! That’s pretty much the whole bag, and to their credit, they don’t need to add more to it. They didn’t dress him up as an air tourist and make him look like he was surfing or put him in front of a green screen and pretend he was competing with Tony Hawk at the X Games. It’s just a skateboarding bulldog followed by a typical car dealership pitch. If the Texas Hammer found that little boy or girl, he would go and fight it with a semi truck, which would completely miss the point.
This one was hard to find and when you see it you will understand why. Debbie Georgatos ran for the GOP seat in Dallas back in 2011 and loved the ad, which swings back and forth from funny to terrifying, like a lost driver trying to get out at the last minute.
She starts talking while not looking at the camera – even though there are two cameras in the room – one camera is filming her from all sorts of wrong angles except the ceiling. The first half (which you can watch on Archive.org) features footage of a baby elephant being sprayed with a hose and Charlie Chaplin’s funniest part of Modern Times to illustrate … the bad Democrats? We do not know. It looks like a last-minute student film for a graduate student with poor planning skills. Apparently we’re not alone in our impressions, as Georgette’s election loss attracted national media attention, including CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who called it “ridiculous,” and even international media like Canada’s Broadcasting Company’s George Stromboulos. .
The 1212 Loop 12 man is revered in Dallas media culture for more than just his catchy address. It looks like a simple, locally made commercial furniture store – but there are so many fascinating layers to peel back, like a tie-dyed onion.
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First, the spokesperson seems to be trying to make “Gotta Gotta Gotta” his catchphrase when the addressee just overshadows it. His arm movements are strange and almost hypnotic. They just walk shoulder-to-shoulder and he seems to have been instructed to use his public speaking skills instead of doing the robot dance through some kind of weird night school combo. After this he just lifts himself up and lets the mattress pulling him break his fall. He doesn’t say anything about “lowering prices” or how deals are just “falling out of the sky.” He only does this while reading his script. Did he do it on purpose? Was it an accident that left only the editors on purpose in the final cut? Why does our head hurt right now?
Boredom is the only basic description of this arts and crafts store ad with “three convenient locations.” Amazing doesn’t begin to describe it.
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